Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Good Morning

Hello
I report to you live from an apartment with an exceptionally clean kitchen. Hooray! Today is a new day and it shall be treated as such. Today will be more of a relaxing day since A.) I took large doses of antihistamines for my itchy scalp which make me groggy the next day, and B.) My *special* friend that visits every month is going to be here any day now.

I can't stand feeling this irritable. My time of the month does that, and exacerbates physical symptoms making me more irritable. It makes me want to smoke green, which is a no-no for me right now, because it makes me crave bad foods, and while I'm not totally sure I think it may be contributing to the itchy factor on my scalp.

Exciting stuff, huh? Anywho, I've been playing with the "talk to yourself" as a child exercise and think its most effective. I think what's important is to remember to do it every day. It's so interesting to do. It makes me feel as if I never want to consume that could be detrimental to my body inside. And it makes me want to be more patient and forgiving with myself. To baby myself, in a way.

That's all for now. Thankful for the ability to blog. :)


Monday, August 27, 2012

Monday

I dislike Mondays. Like I dislike having to clean up the whole kitchen. That's pretty much where my current disdain for Mondays comes from. Always a dirty kitchen. This usually leads to me making a pretty crappy breakfast, since I'm not so Zen surrounded by chaos and filth in such a sacred space, my kitchen. Crappy Breakfast usually makes me cranky and not feel my best and drags a good portion (if not the rest) of the day with it.

Breakfast, people. Breakfast. If I was perfect I would always start my day with a fresh green juice. Example: Kale, apple, celery, cucumber, ginger. Bam! About 32 oz. In the next few hours I would make a green smoothie. And dinner would be a green smoothie or salad or zucchini pasta.
But lately I am far from the perfect bar.

Since my body has been short circuiting as of late this is pertinent! And yet, I keep falling short. I should probably set some kind of "Clean the kitchen up on Sunday goal."

I need to remind myself "YOU ARE WORTH IT!." Also, I need to ask myself "IS THIS SERVING YOUR HIGHEST TRUTH?" before putting something in my mouth. I've found a way to make me present to that by "blessing" the food or drink. I set my intention for the food or drink and what I want it to provide for me. Love, happiness, contentment, joy, .....These are some common examples.
If you have some water, juice, or a smoothie, you can put some masking tape on the glass or jar and write the words right onto it.

My intentions to heal are true. I just think that sometimes I get lost amongst the side effects of not feeling my best self.

I can own as many fancy kitchen appliances as I want and still not have the results I'm looking for if I'm remaining  lost. I can take as many supplements as I want, and the same thing applies. I hate admitting that I'm responsible for my health, and responsible for nurturing it back to health. That includes mind, body, and spirit. I recently watched some really inspiring videos on Dara Dubinets you tube channel. (I'll post the link at the bottom.) In it, the doctor talks about how important it is to be your own caretaker when you're experiencing Dis-ease. He tells you to imagine the young child version your self, and to speak to him/her in the same way you would want a nurturing caretaker to speak to you.

This is an exercise I've yet to try, but I probably will play around with today. It seems pretty powerful.I tear up a little just thinking about it. Also, when I think about this as a regular exercise, I imagine it seems much less difficult and less of a struggle to rise to the occasion 100% every day. This is probably because I have an issue with appeasing others. And while nurturing myself is about me, imagining the child version of myself to promote this activity makes it seem as if it is someone else. And not just someone else. But someone very very young that appears helpless who REALLY needs me to be there for them 100 percent. Because if not me, then who? My husband helps with certain things (mostly monetary, and picking up groceries).

I'm sure that a part of my prolonged "illness stems" from wanting someone to care for me and nurture me because no one was really there in that way for me when I was a child. That doesn't make the dis-ease any less valid. I suppose the purpose of an experience like this would be to VALIDATE myself, my being, and my existence. That I deserve to be nurtured, and cared for in the best ways. If I truly believe this, I would consistently care for myself and whatever I can to actually validate this.

-Sometimes this means letting myself rest and relax. Maybe even aiding it with some meditation.

-Other times it means keeping the kitchen clean! Even if that means asking my husband for help.

-Always, it means paying close attention to what I am putting in my body, and being coherent enough to listen to my bodies signals. It also means putting my needs first.

-Also, it means clearing my head (and body) by either journaling regularly or blogging, exercising when I have the energy, frequenting the beach and nature spots I enjoy, and being extra good to myself.

It's so important to remember that HAVING THE ABILITY TO RESPOND = RESPONSIBILITY!
;)


Here's the fabulous video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyoE1Zvb2nk&feature=relmfu


Behold the Raw Chronicles.  I think it's about time I had a general blog that addresses the life that is mine, Jill. Nothing over thought, nothing too fancy, all raw.  I'm guessing a lot of the topics that you'll find here in the future will be either be health or art related. But hey, there's more to me than health and art, so you'll have to just wait patiently and read. Here's a list of my likes and dislikes to whet your appetite.


Likes:
My brand new Vitamix!
Beaches
Art (duh)
My two kitty cats (Michael and Kira-siblings)
Glee (the show)
Film (especially independent, hell yeah!)
Philosophical pondering
The Redwoods
Farmers Markets
Massages and when people play with my hair (PLEASE)
"Natural" living
Project Runway
Quality magazines
Healthy desserts
Yoga (which I am seriously missing)
Bags!

Dislikes:
That time of the month (ahem, you know..)
Meatloaf
Refined Foods
Cleaning the litter box
Doing dishes
Cleaning in general
LAUNDRY (the devil)
Being really hungry
Smelly armpits (yep)
Not finding enough shoes for my wide feet :( (and I love shoes, too)


There you have it. I've left quite a bit out, but that's okay. You can fill in the rest by reading my blog as time passes. :)